Things I Don't Understand About Women

Things I Don't Understand About Women

Yo. I'm a woman. *shocker* But I really don't understand women. Like we're really confusing people. We're not naturally confusing, society just teaches us to behave in certain ways that make us confusing. So society is all "Hey ladies, you should probably act really irrational," so we do. 

Here are some things I don't understand and will never understand about women.

1) We're really insecure

I think this is where a lot of our problems come from. We're taught to not accept compliments and critique our bodies, intelligence, and personality. Ladies, own those compliments. You're beautiful and probably really smart. And your personality may be awesome. And if it's not, work on that.

We're self-conscious about our bodies during sex (turn those lights off, you'll see my cellulite) and are so worried about losing our partner that we act really differently.

2) We can be possessive of our partner (or our casual hook-up)

This one has really bothered me recently because I don't get it. Your partner does not belong to you. They don't owe you anything except to treat you with respect.

And if we're dealing with a casual hookup, they really don't owe you anything. They can talk to other people. They don't have to text you all the time. Like stop it. Get over it. They have their own life. If you want them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, then frickin' let them know. If not, then let them be their own person.

3) We don't communicate

This has a lot to do with what society teaches us. We're taught not to be direct and ask for what we want. This bothers me so much. People aren't mind readers. If you want something, ask for it. It's not that hard. Want to date someone? Ask them out. Want to have sex with someone? Ask them. Want to go to that new restaurant? Tell them. Don't make them guess and when they don't do what you want, you get mad at them. Because that's not cool. 

If you didn't communicate it, then you have zero right to be upset when they don't do what you want.

Women, am I right?

Let's start realizing that society teaches us to be really irrational people and change that. Because women, we're better than that. We can push babies out of our bodies. And run a company. No man can do that.

Dealing with a Breakup

I’m not sure if this is the best medium for this, but I need to get my feelings out to people. I know I have a lot of friends who are also friends with my ex, which may get weird. But I don’t really care and just want people to know my experience and I need to get this out in the open because maybe I’ll feel less like a jerk if people knew what I have been through.

The last 9 months of my life have been a roller coaster. I dated a boy who treated me pretty poorly and it was a rare occasion when I didn’t cry at least once a week because of the things he said to me. I tried to stick through all of it, but in the end, I really couldn’t handle it.

I got really tired of driving 3 hours to Greeley and then another 3 hours back to Pueblo every time I wanted to see him. It was a one-way transportation situation and that was rough. While I was sympathetic with his lack of transportation, I was bitter about having to drive all the time.

I was irritated that after a year of dating, he still knew so little about me. He didn’t know when my birthday was, favorite color, and other general things that you should know about your significant other. I was frustrated that I made an effort to participate in his interest. I went to a hockey game (I hate hockey, you guys. HATE IT), watch his movies, tv shows, etc. while he refused to watch my movies, eat at new restaurants that I wanted to go to. I know it sounds so picky and little, but it hurt me.

The real problems came in January. After much thought, I had decided that I didn’t want to have kids. I want to be able to have my freedom and do what I want to do and focus on my career. Kids are not for me. I respect his decision to want kids, I really do. But the way he handled me feelings was the worst. He belittled my opinions on how difficult it is to raise a child and in the end said that I was going to be one of those people who was married to my career. Considering I took off several days of work so I could see him, this hurt me so much. My family is so important to me and I would never put my career before the people I love.

After months of depression regarding my relationship, I even went to therapy to try to improve it. But it didn’t help. I realized that most of my problems were because of my relationship. So I chose to end it. It was a hard decision. But in the end, I know it needed to happen. I did not need to be possessed by someone who said, “Your goodies are only mine to see.” My body is not a possession of anyone.

Now that it’s been a while, I can look back at the last year and a half and know that I should have ended it sooner because of how I felt. When someone treats you poorly, you should get away from them. I need to push past this experience.

As weird as it is, I needed to delete him off of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, remove his phone number from my phone, and untag him from my pictures. It may be immature and overreacting, but whatevs. And I know it seems immature to spill this out into the open, but it’s how I needed to cope. Judge if you will, but I’m already feeling better. I need to move on from this experience and onto a happier, healthier place. I hope that you all will understand that this post isn't out of spite, but out of slight grief/