Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Celebrities with Weird Eating Habits

Is this topic weirder than eyebrows? My gut tells me no but my heart tells me yes.

I present to you, celebrities with weird eating habits.

Steve Jobs
Weekly Diet
Mr. Apple himself was a strange dude. I mean, I think we all knew that, but his eating habits were like really weird. Steve would eat only one thing per week. For example, he would eat only carrots for a week and then move on the next week. Because of these weird habits, Steve believed that he didn't have to bathe more than once a week. Um... no.

Renee Zellweger
Ice Cubes
Ms. Squinty face over here snacks on ice cubes. She says that she feels full when she eats the ice cubes. I think she feels full of bull crap. I'm calling your bluff, Bridget Jones.

Stephen King
Cheesecake
I really like this weird eating habit. Before writing, Stephen King eats cheesecake. I think he really just wants to eat cheesecake though. Also, what is up with his face? He has the weirdest face I have ever seen.

Charles Darwin
Rare Animals
Darwin thought natural selection was really just him eating rare animals. "If they can't escape my mouth, they shouldn't be alive," he is NOT quoted saying, but I'm sure he actually said that. HE ATE RARE ANIMALS. WHAT?

Nicolas Cage
Dignified Sex
You read that right. Nicolas Cage only eats animals who have dignified sex. I'm not sure what that means but my co-workers and I decided that it means that the animals must bow to each other before having sex. I think that means that he doesn't eat anything and feeds off the souls of actors who have the guts to work with him. Explains a lot, right?

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