I Hate Bars and Last Night

So, I went out with my lovely friends last night and my experience was not okay.

First, I almost puked like 5 minutes after arriving because that's my life.

Then the night got even better.

Why do creepers have to be creepers?

First, I was alone for like 5 minutes and some dude, who was about 5'4, came up to me and wanted me to dance. I said no because you know, I didn't want to. He was not about that game. Dude refused to leave me alone after I told him no several times. I was about to punch him in the penis but he finally left.

Then, I was with my friends when they were taking shots and some dude, probably 35, touched my back (eww) and was all, "Most girls can't pull of short hair, but you can." Dude, go suck your own dick. This guy here is my least favorite person.

But I did learn that white women love the Cupid Shuffle. And that a lot of men cheat on their wives at Cowboys.

But then things got better because my friend Katie got really drunk. Like really drunk.

Some winning quotes from last night:

"Suck it 1997. Because it was a great year!"

"Justin is a pants. Kelsey is silly."

"Marinarna sauce. My hands are bloody."

"Do you want to be in an orphanage for the rest of your life?"

"I hate you because I love Yoda."

"I'm so mad right now. Because I'm in the bathtub."

"We're at Yoda's house."

"Where are we?"

"That's not even an okay question."
"I hate Asians."

"I love the Yoda. I love the Yoda giggles."

"That's my arm but I love you."

"Where's Kelsey? She went missing."

"What do you think of Wyoming?... Well this one time, I went to Wyoming."

"I don't like Yoda. I love Yoda."

Justin: "I see your buttcrack." Katie: "There's a buttcrack in my mouth?"

"I love her, but I love Yoda more."

"Kolbs is my Asian friend."

That was my night, folks. You're welcome for this amazing blog post.