Dealing with a Breakup

I’m not sure if this is the best medium for this, but I need to get my feelings out to people. I know I have a lot of friends who are also friends with my ex, which may get weird. But I don’t really care and just want people to know my experience and I need to get this out in the open because maybe I’ll feel less like a jerk if people knew what I have been through.

The last 9 months of my life have been a roller coaster. I dated a boy who treated me pretty poorly and it was a rare occasion when I didn’t cry at least once a week because of the things he said to me. I tried to stick through all of it, but in the end, I really couldn’t handle it.

I got really tired of driving 3 hours to Greeley and then another 3 hours back to Pueblo every time I wanted to see him. It was a one-way transportation situation and that was rough. While I was sympathetic with his lack of transportation, I was bitter about having to drive all the time.

I was irritated that after a year of dating, he still knew so little about me. He didn’t know when my birthday was, favorite color, and other general things that you should know about your significant other. I was frustrated that I made an effort to participate in his interest. I went to a hockey game (I hate hockey, you guys. HATE IT), watch his movies, tv shows, etc. while he refused to watch my movies, eat at new restaurants that I wanted to go to. I know it sounds so picky and little, but it hurt me.

The real problems came in January. After much thought, I had decided that I didn’t want to have kids. I want to be able to have my freedom and do what I want to do and focus on my career. Kids are not for me. I respect his decision to want kids, I really do. But the way he handled me feelings was the worst. He belittled my opinions on how difficult it is to raise a child and in the end said that I was going to be one of those people who was married to my career. Considering I took off several days of work so I could see him, this hurt me so much. My family is so important to me and I would never put my career before the people I love.

After months of depression regarding my relationship, I even went to therapy to try to improve it. But it didn’t help. I realized that most of my problems were because of my relationship. So I chose to end it. It was a hard decision. But in the end, I know it needed to happen. I did not need to be possessed by someone who said, “Your goodies are only mine to see.” My body is not a possession of anyone.

Now that it’s been a while, I can look back at the last year and a half and know that I should have ended it sooner because of how I felt. When someone treats you poorly, you should get away from them. I need to push past this experience.

As weird as it is, I needed to delete him off of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, remove his phone number from my phone, and untag him from my pictures. It may be immature and overreacting, but whatevs. And I know it seems immature to spill this out into the open, but it’s how I needed to cope. Judge if you will, but I’m already feeling better. I need to move on from this experience and onto a happier, healthier place. I hope that you all will understand that this post isn't out of spite, but out of slight grief/

Downton Abbey Season 4 Premiere

So I watched the Downton Abbey Season 3 premiere last night.

I have a few thoughts. But I'm going to list the top 5 most annoying characters of the show because that's more fun.

5. Rose.

Rose and I are kindred spirits. We like to do random things and get what we want. But Rose is such a rebel and not in a good way. She does stupid things and gets people in trouble. That's not cool.

4. Cora Crawley

I struggle with putting Cora on this list because she's a pretty neat lady. She was totes supporting Mary to be a majority holder of the Abbey. But she has some major faults. She was pretty upset that O'Brien left, but only because she needed to find someone else to dress her. Whoa. Life is rough for you. Also, when Thomas was all "Anna is mean." Cora totally believed him. Why? Why? Why? Anna's been so good to that family and Cora was so quick to turn against her. Boooo Cora.
3. Thomas.

I don't even have to say much about this. He's awful.
2. Daisy.

What is she good for? Does she do anything right? "What'd you do that for?" That's her catchphrase. She's kind of stupid. She wants people to like her so much but is really unlikeable. She can be such a spoiled brat too. I don't get it. Why does she still work there?
1. Robert Crawley.

Seriously dude? Why were you likeable at first and now you've turned into some misogynist control freak? He was so against everything that Matthew did and now that he's dead, Robert is so pumped to get control again. Could he have been anymore obvious when he started asking Mary, the grieving widow, about issues? Seriously dude. What the heck? Kind of the most annoying and hateable character right now.

Some Embarrassing Moments

Most people know that I am one of the most embarassing people ever.

So I thought that I would share of my most embarrassing moments of my life with you all. You're welcome.

1. When I was a freshman in high school, I had fruit loops for breakfast. I am sitting in my first period math class and I start to get really nauseous. I begin to sweat pretty visibly. It was very attractive. Instead of getting up and going to bathroom like a normal person, I just sat there. And audibly gagged. Everyone in the class looked at me as I ran away, hiding in the bathroom. I went home that day. And threw up rainbows.
2. Fifth grade was an interesting year for me. I got sick a lot. And I was obsessed with Genghis Khan too. So that made me really cool. For a class project, we got to make historical puppets and then do a puppet show with them. In Art, we made the puppets. It was then that I realized that I am hopeless with crafts. I burned myself on the hot glue gun like no one's business. But I finished Mr. Khan. He looked pretty sweet. Had a lot of yarn hair. Well, the performance night came and I was supes sick. I had lost my voice but I was determined to perform. So we start the little Hun play and it gets to my first line. I try to speak but what came out sounded more like "ABEJALKFAL." Everyone laughed. I got sad. Y'all are rude.
3. This one is real gross. So you can skip it if you want. Once, I pooped myself. At a pool. On a diving board. Don't worry, I was a child. I'm not that gross.
4. I am really shy. Yeah, you don't think so. But I am. In 8th grade, I was the only one who tried out for a choir solo, so I got it. Boom. Magic. At the choir concert, it was my solo and I stepped to the front of the stage and forgot the words. Worst part was that it was for Newsies and I frickin' love the Newsies. So that was great.
5. When I cheered for DC Dolphins, we had a game at some field in Founders. Well, I didn't know it, but I had stepped in dog poo. Everyone was all, "What is that smell? Ewww." I had no idea that it was coming from the crap on my shoe. My life.
6. My last story of this blog will be a boring one. Again, you're welcome. In 9th grade, I had a really cool foot surgery. A chunk of bone was removed from my big toe. Holler. So I am crutching around school, my crutch slipped out from under me (because it was, you know, snowy) and I ate it. Smacked my foot on the floor. Some butt face girls behind me laughed. Shoulda smacked them with my crutches. I cried. And that was it. Spent a few days in a wheelchair because I hated my life.

My life is so weird.

Beauty Reviews and Life Updates!

So I've been on a purposeful mission to discover better makeup products and to work on my skill in the whole beauty world. For those of you who know me, you know that this is odd because I'm super lazy. So, I'm working on that. I've been trying and so far it's going well!

However, I've tried a new mascara and it was possibly the worst mascara I have ever tried. Seriously. Swipe one layer on and it clumped like no one's business. No no no. Hated it. Boo you, Rimmel.

Two years ago, I purchased the OPI Black Shatter nail polish. I used it twice and I was pretty pleased with the cool shatter effect. However, I pulled it out of my nail polish case and I frowned like Grumpy Cat. It had dried up and therefore was not useable. Bummer. So I was left with just crumbs of black shatter.

Other than that, I've had good luck with my other beauty endeavors.

I have been trying L'Oreal's True Match liquid foundation and it's pretty great. Lasts all day and doesn't make my face oily. I'm in the color alabaster, which is code for "Darn girl, you are pale." I've accepted it.

As far as my life goes, things are supes good. I'm loving my job. Greeks are thrilling to work with. They really care about their organizations and it's nice to see that passion. We just got a new sorority on campus and I am pumped. That was one of my goals, so checkity check that off! We're getting closer to our Leadership Experience and I am getting so excited about it! It has been cool to work with this program and see it come together. I'm PUMPED! Wahoo!

School is school. Still so bored with it. I want to be challenged and I'm not experiencing that, which is super discouraging. I just have to keep my head down and make it to May 2015. I'm almost done with my first semester, too! Only two more classes and two more papers! Finally. I'm ready.

Past the Hump

Wowzas.

My apologies about being all down and sad last week. It was rough. Feeling a bit better. Not 100% yet, but getting there!

I've been sleeping really well, so that's kind of exciting. I am weird, so I stay up super late (because Adult Swim is just so awesome) but I sleep like a rock once I decide to rip myself away from Family Guy. Also, I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with Bob's Burgers. That family is oddly enough like my family. It kind of freaks me out. Also, I am so Tina. Does that make me a creeper? Probably.

I just completed my first graduate class. I haven't received my grade, which stresses me out. I'm such a worry wart. I'm in that awkward is it an A or A- area, so I just have to wait. I definitely have to get used to the constant class changes within grad school. My classes change every 8 weeks! Like what?! Whoa. I also need to motivate myself more in my classes. I'm just not learning anything, so I need to work on looking for other sources to challenge my academic life.

Wanna know what else is stressing me out? Fantasy Football. Seriously. Why can't my team get their act together? Come on! My team is always projected to win and then what I'm starting to call the "Kelsey Curse" happens. Hopefully this week is better because I'm playing Nathan. And I want to crush him.

OH! Also, update on my health. Because that needs to happen. My throat ulcer is almost gone! YAY!!!! And, they finally diagnosed me with Palindromic Rheumatism. It's sudden onset arthritis. Because I'm cool like that.

Let's Get Real

This week has just been incredibly rough for me. If you don't want to read my complaints, feel free to not read. I've given you a fair warning. But some of them are kind of funny, so you have that to look forward to.

So I have this really cool throat ulcer. It's making my life really exciting. Last Saturday, I actually missed class because I was in so much pain. I don't do that. I'm one of those freaks/nerds who goes to class all the time. But nope, not last week. It's slowly getting better, but still bothers me. So I feel really cool.

Also, I'm just feeling really down recently. I think I could blame it on my throat ulcer, but that's not fair to the ulcer. I mean, what?

Everyone has just been snapping at me. I say one thing and they automatically say, "No," or that I'm wrong. They say it with such an attitude. I understand if I'm wrong, but I would like to be told in a more polite way and then have them explain why. But nope, that doesn't happen. So I just slink back into my corner and stick to my own business. Also, everything I do is seen as "wrong." That bothers me. I'm trying really hard to do the best that I can, but other people seem to want to destroy me. Not cool y'all.

I'm also starting to just question a lot of things.Luckily, not my career. I'm 100% certain about that. Just some people who are supposed to have my back, don't. They are quick to disagree with me, try to prove that I'm wrong, and make me feel stupid. I know I'm not stupid, but it's really hard to think highly of yourself when people are constantly shooting you down. Makes me feel like absolute crap. I'm just tired of fighting when they aren't going to see it my way. So I'm just going to concede.

I hope next week is better.

Until next time.

Lotion, Technology, and Life

Greetings!

It's Homecoming Week!!!! It's actually been such a calm week compared to my undergrad's Homecoming. So that's been super nice. I have enjoyed not having to work 60 hours in one week, so kudos to a calm Homecoming! We had a door decorating contest yesterday. We got third. :( The Foundation and President's Office got first. Sounds fishy to me! :D

I've been trying this new lotion through BzzAgent. I got it free and it's been doing wonders on my dry skin. It's the Curel Intensive Healing Cream and it's pretty awesome!!!!!! It's taken my hands and legs (both of which look like they have never had lotion on them before) and turned them into moisturized members of society! I am a huge fan of this lotion!

Technology has been awful on campus. In the residence halls, we lose power for one second at least once a day. It is ridiculous. Our wifi on campus is awful too. It hardly works, which makes my life very difficult. Our network has been down too, which makes doing my job so hard.

Hoping the tech gets fixed.