I'm okay with being #ForeverAlone

First, I must acknowledge that my ex recently contacted me, so I'm feeling pretty negative about love, but it's whatever. And I guess overall, I'm feeling very pessimistic about men as a romantic interest. To find a man who supports my anti-kid, career driven self is gonna be rough and I've had little luck so far.  I do want to find that one person who I can spend my life with, but I really don't think that will happen. A lot of men want children and I just can't give them that. So I have few options for my love life. And that's fine.

I know that #ForeverAlone is a thing and it's supposed to be funny, but I got to thinking about it. I'm okay with being #ForeverAlone. Yes, I want to have a husband and be a wife, but I'm fine not being a wife. I'm really happy with myself and feeling super duper confident in my life choices as of right now, so I don't need my identity to depend on someone else. Yeah, it'd be super awesome to share my life with someone, but if it doesn't happen, it's all good.

Putting effort into a relationship is hard, especially when that relationship ends and you have to start the process over again. I put a lot of effort into my relationships, so it's exhausting when it doesn't work out, so again, it's cool if I get to just have a puppy family. Because puppies are awesome.

And it's kind of horrifying, the thought of being married. Because if you get married, you can get divorced. Everyone in my family has been divorced. And I'm not exaggerating. Everyone. So, I have just been around that for my entire life. That marriage isn't a forever thing and is easily thrown away. And I don't want to get divorced so the easiest way to follow through with that is to not get married. So, I guess I'm just in this place in my life right now where I'm fine not getting married and being forever alone because I won't get hurt anymore. And I can be my own person.

I don't even know what this blog post was about...

How To Not Have a Balanced Life

How To Not Have a Balanced Life

1) Drink a lot. And I'm not talking about water.

You're gonna fall down a lot and that's always fun. And be really thirsty, which means you can drink more. And make questionable decisions, which leads to amazing stories. And spend a lot of money on booze, so you'll be able to relate to the 99%.

2) Push yourself to the point of exhaustion.

This is pretty much Res Life's motto. Keep pushing yourself until you collapse from exhaustion, start crying randomly for no reason, and/or sleep at your desk.

3) Have no friends outside of your job.

If you go out to eat, make sure you talk about your work all the time. With the people you work with. They understand what you are going through and it's important to not give yourself a break from thinking about work. If you have no non-work friends, you won't have to learn how to get to know people outside of teambuilders and icebreakers.

4) Stay on-campus all the time.

If your job is to live on-campus, you should stay there all the time. Leaving the place you live and work is just not okay and it's scary. You should always think about work when you go home. And if you go off-campus (especially for a day), you're really bad at your job.

5) Eat whatever you want.

Healthy food sucks. You only live once, so stuff your face with whatever you want. Deep fried oreos? Yum. Frozen pizza for dinner every night? Do it.

My Ideal Casting of Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey

My Ideal Casting of Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey

Nope, I don't care that 1) I haven't read the book and 2) they already cast the movie.

This guy is Christian:

Here's my ideal casting of Christian Grey.

Matt Bomer

Alex Pettyfer

Ian Somerhalder

The Guy Who Played Dean Thomas in Harry Potter

Weird Al

The Numa Numa Guy

This Banana

A Goat

What Taylor Swift's Lyrics Actually Mean

What Taylor Swift's Lyrics Actually Mean

"You Belong with Me"

But she wears short skirts

(She's a slut)

I wear t-shirts

(I'm not! I'm so modest!)

She's cheer captain

(Again, what a slut! Even though she holds a leadership position 

in a an actually tough sport, she's a WHORE.)

And I'm on the bleachers

(I don't participate in extra-curricular activities that carry a slut stigma)

Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.

(Dude, I'm like right in front of you and I'm clearly better than your slut of a girlfriend. Also, you're clearly not able to make up your own mind about women, because if you were smart, you'd date me.)

"Fifteen"

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them
(Fifteen year olds believe everything! And fall in love way too easily.)

You sit in class next to red-headed Abigail

(It is very important to the story line to mention that Abigail is a ginger.

Because obviously I'm really nice and sitting next to a ginger. That's charity.)

And soon enough you're best friends

(Again, charity. I'm pretty much Mother Teresa)

Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool

(We're pretty much being bullies. But because we're not popular, we're not bullies. Duh.)

We'll be out of here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car

(Because that's a thing when you're fifteen. He's got a car, so he's basically the coolest person ever and we're gonna get married. Because he ha a car.)

And you're feeling like flying

(Probably because you're in that car from Grease. It flies.)

And your mamma's waiting up

(Because you're FIFTEEN.)

And you're thinking he's the one

(Because you're fifteen?)

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

(Because I was fifteen and was all about the married life.)

But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

(Like write this song about you. Because marriage is sooooo overrated.)

And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind

(She slept with him (Slut), and that was her everything. Because virginity is the only 

thing that women have to offer. Duh.)

And we both cried

(Because we're fifteen. And Abigail gave him her greatest gift, so she's worthless now.)

"We Are Never Getting Back Together"

I remember when we broke up the first time

(Because we've broken up more than once.)

Saying, "This is it, I've had enough," 'cause like

(We break up like adults.)

We hadn't seen each other in a month

(Because neither of us wanted to make an effort to see each other)

When you said you needed space. (What?)

(That's just unacceptable. How dare you need space from me! I'm Taylor Swift!)

Then you come around again and say

"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me."

(You're pathetic.)

Remember how that lasted for a day?

I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you."

(I'm just way amazing, so that's why you love me.)

Ooh, we called it off again last night

(There's a theme here. We break up all the time.)

But ooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together,

(If I say "never ever ever," it makes it more official. 

Also, I sound like a five year old, that's cute, right?)

We are never ever ever getting back together,

(Did you not get that from before? Let me say it again.)

You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

(Because I can't say "No," to you when you ask me out again.)

"22"

Yeah,

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time

(22 year olds can't have one emotion. It's a very confusing time.)

It's miserable and magical.

(22 is the worst age to be, so I'm making a song to make it sound cooler.)

Oh, yeah

Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines

(Because we have deadlines? Because 22 year olds have like real jobs? And Taylor Swift has a real job with deadlines? Or we're going to get real drunk and black out.)

It's time

Uh oh!

I don't know about you

(Are you 22? Do you feel 22? How does one feel 22?)

But I'm feeling 22

(I'm trying to make this awful age sound cool. But I'm really feeling like I'm old but young at the same time. And I want to have a real job but also want to get wasted every night.)

Everything will be alright

If you keep me next to you

(I just need a man and then everything will be FINE.)

You don't know about me

But I'll bet you want to

(Who wouldn't want to know me? I'm Taylor Swift. And I'm already planning our marriage.)

Everything will be alright

If we just keep dancing like we're

22, ooh-ooh

22, ooh-ooh

(22 year olds dance the same as 21 and 23 year olds.)

My BIGGEST Pet Peeves

I have some really weird but HUGE pet peeves. I wanted to share them with you.

1. People who poke me on Facebook.

Like stop it. What's the point? Just say "Hi," to me. I'm just going to delete it.

2. Slut-shaming

Sluts aren't a thing. So stop it. 

If someone wants to have sex with 10000 people, who cares?

3. People who constantly raise their hands in class.

Frickin' Hermione Granger. Stop. Ask them after class. 

Your questions are pointless and not helpful to the class.

4. People who interrupt.

All my life people interrupt me. 

You clearly think what you are saying is more important than what I am saying.

5. People who have no idea how to work a computer or basic programs.

You are living in the 21st Century, learn to deal. 

You should be able to type relatively quickly and run Microsoft Office programs, yo.

6. Parents who didn't put their child in speech therapy 

because they thought pronouncing "Rs" as "Ws" was adorable.

You're screwing your child for the rest of their life.

They are going to be made fun of and never taken seriously.

7. People, particularly men, who sit next to you and spread their legs 

so you have to either cross your legs or squeeze them together.

Stop touching me with your leg. You are no more entitled to this space than I am.

8. Men who leave the toilet seat up.

I don't want to have to touch the toilet seat so 

I have to use it because your splash back is nasteh.

9. People who do not close the toilet lid before flushing.

When you flush, germs are shot out of the toilet. 

So the area surrounding the toilet is filthy. Eww.

10. Men who hit on me when I clearly am not interested.

I've told you that I'm not interested. Why do you continue to harass me?

My Education is a Joke

I'm in graduate school. I have learned very little during my year in this program. I am beyond frustrated about this. I sit in class and learn nothing. I pay for my classes and learn nothing. Some of my professors ramble and teach zero skills that are related to the Student Affairs profession. I have no idea what to do about this but suck it up and get over it. I am beyond bored in my classes because the profs ramble about nothing and students ask really stupid questions. They ask questions about off-topic things, tell stories about their undergrad experience (which is so annoying), and want to get suck-up points.

My undergrad was challenging and I actually had to turn in quality work or else I'd get a bad grade. The work I'm turning in now is ridiculously bad. If I turned in that quality of work in my undergrad, I would have failed so badly. But I'm getting A's. That's not okay.

So many of the teachers are ageist jerks too. I'm sorry I'm young and you have SO much more experience than me, but don't hate on me for it. AND I'm sick and tired of CSU-Pueblo being ragged on. I work there. I love it. Stop ragging on it. I'm not paying you for that.

Taco Time! Not Just on Tuesday.

Taco Time

I love tacos. I love people who love tacos. I love people who love to eat tacos. But I don't like to eat tacos. Tacos are too messy for me. Everything's all out in the open but with a burrito, things are wrapped up, so they are easier to eat. Less messy, yo. So that's why I prefer burritos. But if you think about it, tacos are amazing. They come in many different flavors (Taco Bell has proven that to us) and they really are tasty, but just not my style.

Although I don't like to eat tacos, I don't get why some people prevent others from eating tacos. That's none of their business. I believe in an individual's right to eat whatever they want. They can eat burritos, they can eat tacos, they can eat both, or they can avoid them all together.

Here's some famous people who like/support taco eating:

Ellen Page

Patrick Stewart

Hilary Clinton

Richard Branson

Lena Dunham

John Legend

Oh, by the way, when I say tacos, I mean vaginas.

And on that note, I want to talk to you about feminism. Feminism is about equality. For errybody. Not just for the ladies, but for all people. And it's definitely not about hating men. Because I don't hate men. I love men. I know many men who I consider my allies and they are amazing people who totally support feminism.